his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
