he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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