Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
