I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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