some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
