I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
