Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
