You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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