Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
