Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
