I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
