the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
