my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
