i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
