i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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