I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
