Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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