she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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