Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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