i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
