Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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