I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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