He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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