so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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