in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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