$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
