Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
