I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
