Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All the doctor said was why
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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