He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We are all done wearing pants today
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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