The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
