I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
