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I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I need water and some morals
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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