We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
birth control should be required to get into college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
