I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
