guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
