Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
