Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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