saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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