not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
