I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
