I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
