Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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