Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
