I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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