and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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