I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
