Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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