Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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