my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
