i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She just used a chaser for red wine.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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