took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
