taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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